Screw running. Screw the marathon. Screw everything. The Packers have just traded Brett Favre to the New York Jets. It's the worst thing to ever happen.
TOP 5 WORST THINGS TO EVER HAPPEN
1. Brett Favre being traded to the Jets
2. The Holocaust
3. Louise ditching me as a running partner
4. The Vietnam War
5. Brett Favre being traded to the Jets
I'm currently buying a ticket to Green Bay so I can visit the Packers' management, rip out their large intestines and beat them to near-death with them. Then I will put their half-alive bodies in shallow graves, drive to the nearest chili festival, find the four nastiest port-a-potties and dump their foul contents into the graves and bury Packers General Manager Ted Thompson and Coach Mike McCarthy alive with that excrement.
Brett has been wronged, and now I am a broken, broken man.
RUNNING
Who cares?
DRINKING
Keep 'em coming!
SLEEP
Who can sleep at a time like this?
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